She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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