You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ketchup is God's man juice
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
