I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want nice things and good sex
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
