I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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