She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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