I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
