She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
