Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
