was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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