So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
