that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
