Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
