You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
