you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize