How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You don't make any sense
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