puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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