theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
