No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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