Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
