He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
