I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
