You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
