I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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