It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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