i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
zippers are such a cool invention
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
