I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
