I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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