AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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