am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize