YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
