Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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