worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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