I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
