So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
