The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
