After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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