my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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