i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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