I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
