Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
