I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
