need another drink. this is the easiest way
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
