haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
