I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
