How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just took my morning after pill in the library
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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