Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
