I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
