And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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