drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
