I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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