I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize