if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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