OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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