wakey wakey hands off snakey
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
