Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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