What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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