The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
