then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize